Category: Vision

Finding a Locus of Control

This will be my attempt to vie for a small sum of my own sanity, that part of my sanity mainly applying to the state and order of our house at this moment in time.

You see our house is often messy and in most instances I’m the one making an effort to keep it orderly and clean, but that leaves me with little time to do all the others things I wish to do, between being one of the main caretakers to an elementary aged sister and working about 13 hour night shifts full time.

I’ve circled back around to an old but forgotten state of mind: to focus on my own space and simply maintain a bare minimum of the remaining spaces.

Kon Marie for one promotes the idea of focusing on ones owns space and reaching full and complete order within that space. So my idea is to follow her advice and a little of my own by doing the basic 4 essentials of housework: laundry, dishes, floor, and trash. This is with the hope of making progress and having time for other things, as well as to escape some of my own personal neuroticism.

Hopefully this won’t be to difficult to stick to and hopefully it will serve to aid me, because these things are mostly within my own locus of control so I won’t have to look too far outside of myself to find some inkling of sanity.

I should not expect more than this minimum from myself with regard to housework, that sort of stress isn’t necessary. I need to accept imperfection from myself and from life because in order to get more out of other aspects of life I need to give a little from other parts. The house can be imperfect, good is good enough, don’t get swept away by the internal current of over-expectation. Remember just the basics and don’t forget: Aim for you’re own spaces to be at 100%, but the shared spaces only require the standard four tasks, after those are taken care of your time is yours to spend as you wish.

Work for Myself 8 hours Each Month

So I have four big personal goals that I’d like to achieve in some near future and they are: to get my ASN to BSN, go back to school to take Environmental Science, write a children’s book, and write a novel.

In my very first blog post I wrote that I expected this year to be a very boring year because of one main reason: I thought that there was little to no chance of me to be able to work towards achieving these goals, but that doesn’t sit too well with me, so instead I’ve been thinking, “How can I find some small way of making progress towards achieving my dreams?” I’ve decided this: I can’t work on the educational goals just yet because I haven’t decided on a school, I’m planning to go part time (yet I’m still full time), and I’d like to save some money first. Next I’ve decided that I can’t work on my novel just yet because it will take up too much time and energy at this point in time since I’m at a bit of a writers block at 30,000 words and have had such a long hiatus since I’d last written that I can’t trust myself at this time to remember all that I’ve written and must reread my work all over again before I can even pick up where I left off. So that leaves me with my children’s book idea.

I choose this because it mostly just requires that I sit and work on my illustrations every once in a while since the illustrations make up the bulk of my project. The picture I’ve posted is one of these illustrations that I’ve made.

The reason why I’ve titled my post “Work for Myself 8 hours Each Month” is that I’ve decided: I practically devote 182 hours to my job each month, why shouldn’t I at least devote a traditional 8 hour work day to my own dreams? I’m working for someone else’s dreams day in and day out by working for a company, I should at least take some time to work for myself as well. Also I plan to do so in increments, likely in 2 hour increments over 4 off days each month with the chosen days to be determined by me from month to month.

So I’ll see how this works out, so many of us spend so much of our time working for other people that sometimes our own dreams get set aside on the back burner and we always run the risks of never going back and pursuing those dreams if we’re not careful, so this is my attempt at beginning to reclaim my own dreams.

Perspective

“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”

Thomas Edison

This post is mostly for myself, a small reminder for myself to always return to regarding my view on life which has changed quite a good deal since I was younger. In my youth I was in more of a state of mind of instant gratification, instant reward. In my mind, if I saw no results immediately, then it must be that the matter at hand must not be worth any effort because of the lack of immediate results, but now I think that all good things take time and effort.

I may jump around every which direction in this short post, but I know where I’m jumping, so you can follow or you can read this post with some sense of bewilderment, either way it’s okay, my mind can be a little flighty at times, but it’s of no great concern.

This is the part where I get a bit flighty and kind of jump from idea to idea:

With regard to the picture accompanying this post, it’s to signify the same general idea with regards to effort. This has to do with a concept that I like and it is the grassroots movement, the grassroots movement doesn’t relate to a single historical movement, but rather a general type of movement. The definition given on the site www.dictionary.com is: “the common or ordinary people, especially as contrasted with the leadership or elite of a political party, social organization, etc.; the rank and file”. I am just this “ordinary” and “common”, so if I expect to ever make the kinds of progress that I hope to make in my life I may as well be well aware beforehand of the grit and determination it will take on my part and know that my goals are going to require an uphill climb, but this early awareness will make the hard work more bearable.

I can’t find the direct source of the next quote, but it still relates to success and hard work, this time it comes in the form of a sort of story about Chinese bamboo:

“You start with a little seed, plant it, and water it for a whole year, but nothing happens. The second year you water it, again, nothing happens. The third year you water it, and still no signs of your effort. How frustrating! If you stayed consistent and continued to water it into the fifth year, the tree finally sprouts and grows up to ninety feet in six weeks!

The improvement process is much like the Chinese bamboo tree; it is often discouraging, but great things happen if you remain persistent when you aren’t seeing results. If it seems like all your hard work isn’t adding up right now–be patient and keep watering the bamboo.”

I get frustrated with my goals sometimes and discouraged, but these sorts of little reminders help me soldier on and this post is a way to keep all these different ideas all relating to my view of success and effort all in one place as a source for some gentle reminders that success takes time and effort to achieve.